It’s Monday and Monday’s suck big time, so let’s start this Monday out in a positive way by talking about Kip Moore’s balls.
Canaan Smith and Kip Moore became good friends while on Dierks Bentley’s Sounds of Summer Tour, but things took a decidedly painful turn in their relationship when Smith had a little too much to drink one night and for unknown reasons thought it would be a great idea to give Kip a good ol’ fashioned thump in the family jewels.
Youch!
Canaan tells KFROG that after he opened the show back on August 23, he decided to go backstage and begin his 33rd birthday celebration a day early. Kip was there waiting to go on stage for a duet with Dierks. As sometimes happens, one thing led to another and Canaan decided to give Kip a friendly tap in the junk. I’m not sure if this was like a modified pat on the butt that football players give each other or what, but being tipsy Canaan ended up patting a little harder than he planned.
“I was like, ‘Man, I’m so sorry! I’m drunk right now!” Canaan explained. “[Kip] was like, ‘I saw red, and then I saw Canaan, and I didn’t know what to do!’ He was like, ‘You’re lucky I love you.’”
Lucky, indeed.
Okay, after thinking about Kip’s testicle situation for a while (hey, it’s for story research), I’ve come to the conclusion that this was probably not an accident at all but rather Dierks Bentley’s ultimate payback. Remember how Dierks said a while back that he was still dealing with the aftermath of the funny goat-in-a-pickup prank Kip pulled on him?
“The prank they pulled, they put plastic over my truck, and then they spray-painted over the plastic. Well, when they pulled the plastic off, the spray paint had reacted with the glue and it left the words. I’ve been driving around with the word ‘Payback’ on the side of my truck for a month and a half. It’s like he’s still pranking me for a month and half straight, because this stuff does not come off my truck. One side says ‘I’m To Blame,’ his current single, and the other side says ‘Payback,’ for when I made him jump in the lake. So there will be some payback.
What better payback than getting one tour partner to give another tour partner a painful thump in the balls? Oh that Dierks, he’s a crafty one alright.
